i had this teacher and he always used to make this joke;
'where do pencils go on holiday?….pencilvania!'
but one lesson we were just reading quietly and he just stood up from marking tests and said 'Oh. My. God. Pennsylvania's a real place.'
then he started laughing so hard he covered his face with both hands and walked out and different teacher had to continue the lesson
do celebrity pets know they’re pets of celebrities
how fucked up is it that so many men associate periods and menstruation with women “acting shitty” towards them because of pms,when women are literally the ones who go through actual pain because of the whole thing?
I mean, dude, this is so not about you. grow up and get over yourself.
shhhhh dickwad, I’m a guy
but why would we ever remove the wisest of our teeth
if magic isn’t real then how do you explain
It hardens because the chocolate cools on the cold ice cream. Put a bottle in the fridge and wait. It’ll be a hunk of chocolate
no i’m pretty sure it’s magic it even says “magic” on the bottle and it’s got a snazzy turtle in a hat a magician would wear with a magic wand
a dude at the gym just reached in his bag, pulled out a bottle of Hershey’s chocolate syrup, smiled & shook his head like that’s just something that happens to people, put it back and then pulled out a bottle of water instead
How to get a girlfriend:
- Go up to her and say, “Before I met you, the sun was like a yellow grape, but now it looks like fire in the sky. Why? Because you light a fire inside me.”
- Nickname her “Dandelion”
- Tell her you’d throw your pie for her, and then proceed to do so, in a violent manner, toward a fellow near said conquest.
and whatever you do, DO NOT piss on the floor of her shared bunk while she sleeps
idk man it just makes me so so so sad when you’re watching a cutiepie talk about their passion like when they light up and start bubbling over with words and then all of a sudden they stop themselves and say stuff like “sorry, i know this is boring” or “sorry i just got excited”
like you know somewhere in their life someone they respected told them “shut up nobody cares” and ever since they can’t talk about their favorite things without apologizing every 5 seconds
“THEY WERE JUST TEENAGERS” idk man I was a crazy, stupid, reckless, and unstable teenager but not once did I ever get the urge to kidnap, drug, and rape someone
this shark is hungry. dangerous.
ｔｈｉｓ ｓｈａｒｋ ｗａｎｔｓ ｔｏ ｅａｔ ｙｏｕｒ ｂｌｏｇ．
if u dont reblog this cyber shark you’re blog will be delieted DONT RISK IT
youve angered it
i feel like tall people at concerts have everything they want in the world
if someone “fights like a girl” you should be absolutely terrified of them have ever seen a girl fight they’ll rip your fucking throat out with their hands while the guys are still doing that weird cobra posturing thing for five minutes
Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest that just sounds nice and cozy, but if I invite you to my cabin in the woods you’re going to die.
when u about to fall asleep in class and someone calls your name
You are good at something, stop lying to yourself. You’re good at breaking down comic book plots, cooking ramen perfectly, making your friends happy, knowing the time without looking at a clock, getting the perfect ending at RPG’s, or figuring out the twist ending to movies. Don’t let society tell you your talents are meaningless because they don’t serve an economical purpose. Your talents reflect your interests and passions, and what’s important to you is important.